YouTube FanFest 2015 | A Big Thank You

Just got out of the shower

and dumped all my dirty laundry into the washing machine and since my hair is still wet and I've to wait for my clothes to be done (to hang them), I thought I would just blog about YouTube FanFest 2015!!!! :D ♥ On a side note, I went to my brother's ORD parade today and I realised my eyesight has deteriorated even further... lol. Will blog about his parade tomorrow or something!! ^^ 

Anyway so back on YTFF,

it is my first time attending it and I've NEVER walked a red carpet before... I was lucky enough to join Wah!Banana to YTFF's events this year! The press conference, the red carpet, the meet and greet so on and so forth. Unfortunately, I only attended the red carpet and meet and greet. ): 

When I first received

news that I was gonna join the rest of the casts, director and producer of Wah!Banana to YTFF this year, I was thrilled. Let's not forget, I felt super. fucking. nervous. Everyone who knows me in real life would know that I'm a fucking awkward potato and I would probably die of anxiety and being crazy anxious... super awkward... nervous.. am I weird... fuck my life... ok you got it!!!! 

I didn't know what to wear

for the red carpet event at all but thank god, all of us (Wah!Banana) decided to dress in full black with a tint of yellow somewhere. Having a dress code made things so much more easier for me and since I was so fucking broke I obviously scrimped and wore an old black dress along with a yellow statement necklace!! Simple enough!!! :D 

P/S: Don't judge that I was broke, you have your bad times too ok.

OOTD for the red carpet evening!!!! :D 

And thank you Brian for accompanying me on my bus ride!!! The bus ride could've felt like hours to me if not for your company. (':

OOO OK I heard

my washing machine, the laundry's done!!! Let me go hang them first and then I'd come back to continue this post. :D OKOK BACK!!!! So that day, I met Audrey at 313 first and we walked around OC and metro to look for some makeup products lolol. Gathered with the rests of the crew and YouTubers at Hotel Jen after that!

Thank you Audrey, for this OOTD shot hehe not sure why that face but, ok. 

The guys!!!! Hahhahaha 

Anyway I was nervous and

felt very apprehensive the whole time. Thank god the rest of the bananas stuck around, especially Lingyi and Fish!!! Seriously can't be more thankful enough for them... T_T ♥♥♥♥ I bet everyone could tell I was so awkward and nervous during such events and when meeting new people. Don't know how some got the idea that I'm arrogant LOL.

I tried to act like I'm ok and it's all cool

but the more I tried to pretend and hide my insecurities, the more obvious it was?! I tried to socialise but I'm not good at words. I guess I was most afraid of meeting and talking to new people because I always have this idea that everyone else is just... generally 'greater' and 'better' than I am. 

Very often than not, 

I feel small and meaningless beside people. Moreover, I know very little about the YouTube industry, everything was very very new to me. But I'm really praying that none of you has the same mentality as I do because it is completely unhealthy and we know it. I'm working on it and I'm very happy that the people around me actually encourages and are capable of providing me with motivation to better myself and to build some solid self-confidence. So if you feel like me, we should work on it together. Jiayou! HAHAHA. (P/S: I mean it.) 

BIG BIG shoutout to Fish and thank you so so much for always being there for me no matter what. 

Above is probably our

first 'proper' picture together. Though I consider us to be close, we don't really have pictures together at all. Except that when I do, this happens: 

He's tall AF and he takes advantage of it when he's with me. Kind, but can be such a pain in the ass too. Period. 

OK KIDDING, you're still one of my favourites. :D ♥

Not long after all the YouTubers 

gathered at Hotel Jen, we were all chauffeured to SCAPE and went into this... space..? Concert hall? I don't know but pretty huge to contain all of us while we get ready to strut the red carpet. The moment we got out of the car though, we heard people shouting, "Wah!!!!! BANANA!!!!" From that instant I felt so proud of my fellow mates. Terence, Jason, Lingyi, Eden, Audrey and Fish. All of them. People love them and they really put in so much effort and handwork into producing videos every Thursday for everyone of you... T_T 

There were sooooo many
renown YouTubers in the room and... I first felt as if I don't belong there because I'm not as famous and popular as they are etc etc etc. Many of them work super hard to get to where they are today and they're all so good at socialising, talented and they all look good. I was nothing but... a cast I thought. Then I remembered that someone once said, "You're a part of Wah!Banana. If you didn't turn up, people would be disappointed. At least I would be disappointed."

Then later, I started to see
YouTube stars that I love and felt so fascinated and exhilarated! What made me even happier, was to see Joanna!!!!! T_T ♥♥♥♥ We aren't very close but ever since I met her, she've been nothing but nice and extremely helpful towards me. She's one of the best people I know and it is really hard for me to feel comfortable with someone. Surprisingly, Joanna is one of them. I don't feel nervous and I only feel happy when I see her there.

With Joanna from NOC!!!! ♥♥♥ Follow her on @joannalhs ok!!!! :D 

And with Bie The Ska!!!!! T_T ♥♥♥♥♥ 

I LOVE HIM PLEASE.
He is a fucking legend. Hahahaha, super crazy humble and kind. He speaks to anyone like his friend! Please say you've watched all his cool 'magic' videos before. He always end his 'magic tricks' off by saying, 'WHOAAAAAA!!!' HAHAHHA super cute!!!! Truth to be told, I've never seen his YouTube channel before but I've seen SO SO much of his videos all over Facebook! It is almost impossible to miss it, he is so good at it. Subscribed! LOL 900k subs, no joke!!!

I could tell that even Terence felt
honoured to have met him. Meeting him was SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY one of the happiest and biggest takeaway throughout the entire YTFF'15 experience. I also took a video with him mimicking his signature, 'WHOAAA' trademark!!! It's on my snapchat and I would upload my snapchat story of that day later on in this blog post!! ^^

And look!!!!!
It was soon our turn to strut the red carpet!!!! I never stopped feeling nervous honestly HAHAHA.

I actually thought I would
trip and fall or something because sometimes you might just jinx it by worrying too much!!! BUT I DIDN'T YAY. I only fell like what, two days later?? LOLOL, I would touch on that later on. Anyway, the whole time backstage, Fish and the rests just kept saying that they'd push me during the red carpet. Thanks ah guys, thank you for scaring me HAHAHHA.

Thank you Jason for this picture!!! ♥♥

♥♥♥♥

Overall,
the experience was superb. I have to really, really thank Lingyi for making sure that I'm alright throughout the whole red carpet walk. I felt so much more comforted with her around, thank you for constantly checking that I'm alright and holding on to my arms when I start to look like an awkward turtle with no directions. It means so much to me. It is so silly of me to think that we're not in this together. Actions REALLY show so much more than words do. Thank you Lingyi, thank you everyone. ♥

Omg I'm so sad, my snapchat
story can't be uploaded here for some reason!!! I would try again tomorrow!! ):

Fast forward to the meet
and greet, we all dressed crazy casual and met so many of you for pictures and small talks! It is truly an honour to meet these people who came down, queued and all just to have some pictures taken with us. Honestly, I feel that I don't deserve any of this goodness at all. I feel the love from so many of them and it can be so overwhelming. Some of them even treats us as their role models and I feel like I've not done anything for them at all. Nevertheless, thank you all for coming down to meet us. Posting some of the pics here taken by @tunaunga on Instagram!!! Thank you Adam for the pictures!!! :D

♥♥♥

I was very very surprised
that some of the people outside actually wanted a picture with me, thank you so much guys!!! T_T I'm very very flattered. But I sometimes wonder maybe it's because I was wearing the 'YouTube Talent' tag that's why HAHAHA. But thank you soooooo much for those who tagged me in their Instagram pictures!!!! xxxx ♥♥♥♥ Randomly inserting one below because I really like it!!! Thank you so much!!!!

OH YA, remembered I mentioned
at the top of the post that I fell??? YEA I FELL at like I don't know which floor of scape because I was walking too quick to return to the room to rest and two girls saw it WHAT THE FUCK. LOL, super funny and embarrassing can?! Cuz I even turned and said sorry to the girls, I don't know why I did it, it was only natural for me to do so. Like how I said thank you to a tourist whom asked if I could help take a picture of him and his wife. /:

Anyhow, the meet and greet was really quick,
we were there for about an hour to take pictures with the people but it felt like 20 mins or something?!!! We met so many of them, some very happy, some emotional and some even very inspiring AND aspiring. I'm so glad to have met y'all and I really appreciate the kind words and gift. (I received a flower ok and I think it's VERY sweet.) The existence of you people have such a huge impact on my life in many aspects and I truly appreciate every single one of you. No matter how little xxx. (':

And back in our resting room for
the YouTubers, I SAW PHIL AND WESLEY FROM THE WONGFU PRODUCTIONS!!!! LOLOL please allow me to use this space to fangirl them thanks. I've watched their vids and I didn't react fast enough to take pics with them on the red carpet day and I was really really elated to see them at the resting room after the meet & greet!!!!! :D :D :D

PHIL IS DAMN CUTE CAN?! ♥♥♥♥ LOL MARRY ME. OOPS 

And I must also say Wesley has this charming and mysterious vibe lolol. Don't know which one to pick as my future husband HAHAHHAHA. #不要脸

OKAY!!!!
This post is getting long-winded. And if you're wondering, I actually left right after the meet and greet. Went back home to someone who's everything nice. Life is so good. I can't thank the people around me enough. Thank you for providing me with such a wonderful experience. Thank you for reminding me why I should always cherish. Thank you for moulding me into a much better person everyday. Thank you for everything. Thank you.