Warning : This is gonna be wordy , but well heartfelt thoughts and really wanna share with you guys hence blogging at this unearthly hour .
The above GIF is made from GifBoom , follow me there at @KittyVonnC !
Everyone has been
trying so hard to cheer me up . Everyday , I receive numerous amounts of Facebook messages in both my accounts , SMSes , Tweets etc . I've read them all , word by word no matter how long it is or how lousy I felt that I don't even wanna read them . However , I still read them , and I swear , I really appreciate all of you . All those people who tried so hard just to talk sense into me and make me happy . Honestly , I get what you guys mean , but I still went ahead to follow my own decisions because I felt if I didn't , I would regret .
And because I couldn't
cheer myself up for you guys , I felt even more useless . And horrible that so many people is trying to cheer me up but I couldn't , so I am sorry for you guys . But I've picked myself up . I told myself , any failures in life that one have came across-ed they should not give up . Pick yourself up , AND STAND AGAIN . I did (:
There was numerous amount of times
where suicidal thoughts came to my mind . Thinking back , I didn't thought I was stupid . That horrible feeling REALLY lead me to suicidal thoughts . Because it could be the best feeling and escape ever . Yes , ESCAPE . But today , I thought to myself , why should I even escape la fuck ? Why should I even be upset anyway -______- ? Bitch pick yourself up . HAHA
To cut the story short ,
I was cheated on . I was faithful , loved him with all my heart . I gave him chances . Chances isn't just about "chances" . When you gave someone a chance , it's like trusting them with all your heart again , at the same time , they took a part of you away , really . He didn't care about those "chances" obviously , I was obviously having a hard time .... experiencing and being reminded that I've lost him every minute . Waking up in the morning realizing well , I have to lead life without someone I used to look forward to so much .
But I guess I am not the right one .
If he loves me , I wouldn't end up in this state . I gave him numerous amount of chances , he took it for granted again and again . That didn't matter , I just thought I should . Otherwise I might have regretted not giving someone I love a chance again . And well , I found out that he has cheated on me , I figured that he no longer love me la . So ........ I just merely changed my Facebook r/s status to Single . I did not receive a text , call or message from him at all . We haven't contacted since then anyway . But that does not matter . He has found his love . Yes ? I gave in my all ? Yes ? I did everything I could ? Yes ? You people call me dumb and stupid ?
But I guess I am not the right one .
If he loves me , I wouldn't end up in this state . I gave him numerous amount of chances , he took it for granted again and again . That didn't matter , I just thought I should . Otherwise I might have regretted not giving someone I love a chance again . And well , I found out that he has cheated on me , I figured that he no longer love me la . So ........ I just merely changed my Facebook r/s status to Single . I did not receive a text , call or message from him at all . We haven't contacted since then anyway . But that does not matter . He has found his love . Yes ? I gave in my all ? Yes ? I did everything I could ? Yes ? You people call me dumb and stupid ?
I am not .
I knew exactly what I was doing .
Part of life isn't it ? I just gotta take it easy . Make it simple , he doesn't love me anymore , I've done all I could , so just let it go . Happy ending for me still isn't it :D Thank you to so many of you out there , strangers even ! SO many of you :D ! I appreciate it I fucking swear ! Chrysan Huihui Lee is super fortunate to have you people who cares ^^ I'm blessed I have an amazing family , amazing friends around . Just those few will do ^^ . I don't need the best in the world , I am contented to have what I have already today (:
Sometimes people just don't realize that , what they want is what they already have .
They just don't notice it .
Now some photos to share with you amazing people :D ♥
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| Shared by a stranger that inbox me . Thank you (: |
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| My brother LOL . I went to his room I was like "can I have a hug ?" Then cb my sister Fiona took a photo t___t |
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| Don't you think my dad look so cute in this photo ?! HAHAHAHAH ♥♥ |
was because he once said that sentence to Adam before hahahahha , told my dad we broke up though !! And I did not add any vignette in this photo ! It was because of the lens we used to take this photo , amazing :D
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| All time favorite salad buffet at Earle Swensens ! |
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| Whole mountain of salad ! I would go there again just to eat their salad I swear . |
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| Hahahha I was asking Fiona , where's Ariel Italic ? |
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| Me and my beloved ahboy ♥ Didn't had make up on then hahaha |
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| At Malaysia , Love this photo cuz ............ my shadow ? aha |
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| Earth Quake @ Swensens 2 days ago ♥ |
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| Went grocery shopping @ Sheng Shiong with Ginity yesterday ! Bought lots of fruits |
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| Fuck we cooked this shit , not really edible LOL |
But today , we
pampered ourselves with Rive Gauche's macaroons and cakes ♥ !
They're freaking lovely !
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| Strawberry shortcake , Guanaja & Oreo Cheesecake . Of course , SSC was the best ♥♥ |
Have a question you wanna ask ? Go ahead ask at my Formspring !
I really wanna make more friends hahahhahahha wtf man . Believe it or not , I don't have much friends LOL !