Thursday, 14 July 2011

Anger .

Ever forced yourself not to get angry , 
not to flare up , not to defend yourself , not to make things big not because you're a coward but because you're bearing everything for your loved one's sake ? 

This is exactly how I'm feeling now .

Burning with anger , yet I'm not gonna do anything now . 
For my loved ones , for the people around me , for my company . What else can I do besides pretending I don't know anything when I obviously know something ? 

Yiqing bbg and Peixin cooked speghetti at my house for me the other day then , 
together with apples and a cup of cold Ice lemon tea for me ♥ Super sweet right ? Even though I was feeling down and everything , they didn't leave me alone (: 

 Seeeeeeeeeeee , they even bought Ice cream and dog food for ahboy !

 I cooked the chicken and Peixin cooked the Speghetti while Yiqing made the hot chocolate drink ♥ After that came the apple desert along with ice lemon tea . Swear I spend awesome time with them , kinda sad that Claire couldn't make it last min and Ginity too . But they didn't eat the ice cream in the end ):

Hehe Peixin looking in a super awkward position cause she don't wanna be caught smoking HAHA . 

Anyway , things at home got kinda bad after they left because of me .
Kind of quarreled with my sister and my dad . Upset obviously . And the next day receiving a super imba bad news . How bad can I get ? Really , knowing that I can strike back immediately but I'm not doing anything . I just don't want the matter to be big . My bad . 

Went to west coast then , and kinda cheered up a little (: 
But my mood just sank again when I went home after awhile . Hate it . Everything that's making me upset are all caused by myself . Self destruction , really . 

Deleted an amount of friends of Chrysan Huihui Lee cause that account was full a few days ago .
People suggested me to create a page . But is it really needed ? Since I still have Chrysan PartyAnimal anyw . 
Changed my profile pictures , like it if you think it's nice okay (; 

And I wanna cut down on the amount of money that I get from my
dad all the time . I wanna work . Not easy , of course . So I guess I shall work harder for following events . 

As for school , it has been a bitch . 
Not going back to my current school anymore . Life have been kind of tough nowadays .. 

Shall enjoy the hello kitty strawberry milk masks that I bought few days back hehe damn cute one ♥ 

Someone told me this ( hope he doesn't mind me sharing ) , 

" If someone makes a mistake unknowingly , she can be forgiven . 
If she makes a mistake knowingly , she can be forgiven after a while . 
But if she makes a mistake knowingly , and knows what is the right to do , she should really reflect on herself .
You know what to do , you know what's right and what's wrong . Think back , recall and look at what you're doing , one small step is a big leap . You can't just rant and rant and rant without doing anything about it . You skipped your x levels . You know , you might think you let your brither down , you let your sisters down . But ultimately , the one you're letting down is yourself . You're xx (age) . Yes , you're still young , but you should know what to do . It's your life , nobody can tell you what to do . I've said this a lot of times already . You should really think of what you want in life Chrysan . " 
" Life's not about taking the easy way out , it's about taking the hardest way
and learning from every fall and deterring obstacles you face . Think about it aite ? Learn to love yourself before doing anything else . Stop being so wilful already . You are the only one who can help yourself . Time to grow up aite ? Sleep early . Goodnight . " 

Through what this person say , 
I hope those who feels the same way as me or any other way , would get this message into your head . 
It makes sense , yes it does . But it's up to us if we want to listen . We lead our own lives , so we live it the fullest . And I'm gonna say goodnight now , just like this guy who sent me this message . 

Goodnight .