Sunday, 20 November 2011

Days passing by without counting .

I hoped those who attended SMASH #2 had fun 
at Zirca and Groove that day ? All of you were damn hot and dancing like no tomorrow ! 
Next up coming event by us would be at Rebel this coming 29th Nov ♥♥ ! Super hero themes ok ?! SUPER COOL . Must come ! See me dressing up at a hero ok ? Don't miss it , support me by getting your tickets from me that night ! 

Anyway , 
I was so busy and tired at Zirca that night , did you guys spot me ? ^^ 
But I did had a lot of fun that night trying to dance electro but I still can't hahaha . Slowly learning okay ! Went home with Wayne , Xavier and his girlf that morning after SMASH #2

Andy & Me .
Yu Tat & Me .

Slept like a pig for
really really long , woke up early in the morning and met up with Yu Tat & Eric at Commonwealth Mrt and we headed off to Pasir Ris  Downtown East Chalet to meet up with Andy & co . Too many people till it was so noisy and I couldn't sleep in peace at the chalet , so I went off that night . 

Woke up really early this morning again 
& headed down to SMOOVE's office to have meeting . Had steamboat with Benjamin , Yueyang , Kai , Wayne , Raymond , Jim , Wilbert , Darwin , Andrew , Chow , Jiahao , Jeremy , Solomon , Canny , Nic & Reign . Had super a lot of fun and I was so happy to spend my time with them . 

Besides going out & staying home ,
I changed my display picture for my first Facebook account and I realized my "likes" decreased dramatically . LOL ._.

Nowadays , there seemed to be many things 
going through my mind . Especially relationship stuffs . I mean , seriously a lot . And it's affecting me so badly that sometimes I felt so tired and I just feel like crying over and over again . But I stopped myself from crying and it felt so bad as if I couldn't breathe . Do you know how it feels ? Imagine you constantly find out that a guy cheats on you behind your back . Imagine there is more than 1 witness . Imagine numerous people warned you but you didn't listen to anyone and you ended up falling even harder . The best part is , the guy DOESN'T CARE . Maybe he does , but you realized he doesn't care even as much as your friends . My friends actually care for me more . Cool ? Obviously not . 

I hate people that just talk , why can't you 
just used actions to prove it to me for ONCE ? This isn't the first time anymore . I'm starting to give up and feel that .... I was wrong . I was wrong that I THOUGHT you would change . But seems like it's true that leopard won't change it's spots . End this or show something . I don't even know what you're thinking anymore . You wouldn't know what kind of pain and insanity you've been putting me through . You made me feel like the best person in the world and am fucking blessed at times , but have you thought how badly have you hurt me constantly ? Please stop hurting me . 

The amount of pain and worries 
I have deep down me now is impossible to be written out and expressed by me or anyone else . This isn't an easy task . Leaving you wasn't my choice , but things just keep changing and slowly , that faith and trust seemed to slowly disappear because of YOU . You didn't trusted me . You didn't realized your mistakes . You thought I was "sian" of you already but it's obviously not because of that . So what if you're in NS ? I'm not that kind of person . I felt insulted , DISGUSTED when I thought of what you did behind my back , extremely upset each time I talked to you because I still have to act happy  , I didn't want you to worry ( would you even be worried ? ) . And I felt so angry when you don't listen to my advices . But yet , I hate to leave you . Or should I say I shouldn't even care since I'm not even your girlfriend ? Right ? Would this 7months and 3 days relationship go to waste ? 

If I just wanted to play with you , 
I wouldn't waste such a long time with you . Seriously . Doesn't matter anymore right ? Judge as you wish . Because it seems like I've expected all your reaction , too numb to shed a tear . When you called me , you just put down the phone without warning on purpose , imagine how I felt when I even took the earpiece because I prepared to have a long talk with you on the phone . You said my actions proved a lot , how about yours ? And all this while , have I not proved to everyone enough that I TREASURE YOU ? You just didn't want to settle down with me . You just didn't want to . So how different am I from flings and other girls ? You always start to think for yourself , when can you think of me ? Please show me some love ?

The only person I could ever blame is me , myself and I .