Tuesday, 10 September 2013

Fuck assumptions

 Okay , super random blog post .
I just really didn't know where else I can write on , so I thought here would be a perfect place since I started blogging back then all because I wanted to have my thoughts written into my own space . 

I unfollowed my ex 
on all social media platforms & unfriended him etc . 

I mean , everyone's 
first reaction would be like , "why are you so petty ?! Break up already then you unfollow all" . NO , stop it NO . I didn't unfollow him etc just because of a break up . It's been quite some time since we broke up now & I didn't unfollow him on all platforms till today . It's a simple reason , I tried okay ? I tried to not get affected by the things he posts online . I mean it's all normal stuffs and not things that are directed to me on purpose or things that are provocative la . He isn't a bad person lol . 

Even though 
it was just normal stuffs that he posted online , like you know he continues with his life just like me , I still get affected by seeing things RELATED to him . NOT things he posted . I am just so fearful everyday of seeing anything related to him because I just don't wish to see lol . I really don't know how to explain this feeling . Like I said , I only remove him from my social media platform till today , that means all these while I tried to adapt to him being like a normal person on my social media timeline understand ? lol . I tried really . But it still affects me . And obviously I don't like it . 

He didn't do anything wrong . 
I just feel affected to see anything related to him and I've got no idea why . So the best way is to remove him from my social media platforms just so there would be less chances of seeing things related to him . But I don't wanna come off as I'm being petty and doing it because of a break up , because it really isn't . I don't want him or anyone else to think that way .

I don't wanna feel fearful everyday of seeing things I don't wish to see online .
To me it is impossible to see an ex as a normal friend and completely not get affected by anything at all . What's more , it's not like we broke up two years ago . If it's something that happened long time ago then maybe I would get over it by then . I just really , desperately want to be happy . 
And the simplest & most effective way is to remove it completely out of my life .
I know that by doing this , it doesn't mean that I will not think about it . But at the very least , I won't feel afraid everyday . I just wanna make myself feel better . I still have a long way to go .