Wednesday, 1 April 2015


Us humans can be afraid of anything.
For me, the scariest and most dreaded fear of all, is to be unappreciative or actually fail to cherish my loved ones. To be misunderstood & feel distant from them is what comes next. Occasionally, our mind is flooded with extremely negative thoughts out of nowhere which can be too overwhelming for us.

During times like this, 
you wish your loved ones would be there for you. You wish they'd actually understand how you feel. You wish they'd actually be willing to listen to the ringing thoughts in your head which at times, doesn't quite make sense. And it worries you, it worries you to open up & talk to someone about it. You think they'd find you burdensome because of your 'petty/insignificant' thoughts. You're afraid they wouldn't even take you seriously. But little do they know, you're actually suffocating inside and you just wish they'd hear you out and save you out of that mess. 

No matter how strong some appear to be,
there'll always be times where they want someone to be by them. May not be need, but want. Everyone, be it man or women all wish to be protected from their own overpowering thoughts at some point of their lives. And because I know how horrible it feels to be in solitude, I want to be there for my loved ones. No matter how insignificant they think their thoughts are. 

Just an hour ago,
I asked my brother about his greatest fear in life. He thought for awhile and replied, "death."
 I was shocked as I wasn't expecting death to be his answer. I mean, why would anyone spend time feeling afraid of something so inevitable? He later explained it's because when he's dead, he wouldn't have the chance to start all over. You would have nothing left, zero emotions and no chance to feel whole again.

That's equivalent to the fear of regret.
No doubt that in life, we all have our regrets, we all have times where we neglect and fail to be there for the people around us. But that's where I tell myself, take the chances. Take all of it. Be there for your loved ones as much as possible, minimise the chances of living in guilt. For me, I live in guilt everyday for not cherishing and being there for my mom when she was still alive. It is extremely torturous to know that you could've done better but never did. We cannot reverse time, but we can always start giving more. More of our attention, love & concern. It's a choice.

And today, I dedicate this post
to an amazing friend of mine, Alicia. You have me, I promise you. ♥

Not many days ago, a friend of mine said:
"People can be there to hear you, but they may not listen."

If you fear you're incapable 
of loving your loved ones enough than others, could it be because we're all too self-absorbed & preoccupied with ourselves that we fail to spend some time listening to them? Just my two-cents worth.